Kyo's Thoughts
by gracefullyme1025
Summary: He rants, and thinks... What do you expect?
1. Water Reflection

**Disclaimer: I do not own Fruits Basket.**

Water Reflection

He's so perfect. Everybody likes him. Even _she_ likes him. I can just tell.

I'm not perfect. Nobody likes me. But I like her. She doesn't know.

I have a bad temper, and I've always had one. Comes with the personality when you're the outcast of the family. I just want to be... like him. He can at least control his temper. My temper always scares her, and I don't like that. I don't want her to be scared. Especially of me. I tried to train myself, you know, to control my temper. But someone always has to say some wise-ass remark, and it just pisses me off to no end. I mean seriously, just talking about it now just gets me angry. Why can't I control my freaking temper! Great I'm getting mad because I can't control my temper. What's next?

I don't want to tell him, that I want to be just like him. Because if he ever finds out, he'll be ratting me out non-stop. No pun attended mind you. I hate that stupid rat! He's always so full of it. Whenever I'm trying to calm myself down he always says something to set me off again. Why can't he just see that I'm trying to change? But then again no one knows I'm trying to change. I made a vow to myself not to tell anyone how I feel. Well, maybe not everyone. I will tell her, when she wants to know. It's not like I'm just going to blurt it out in front of her. I got some common sense. Even though that damn rat doesn't think so.

He's so strong too. I can never win against him in a fight. Unless, well, no he's still strong when he's sick. In fact he may be even more stronger when he's sick than when he's not. Seriously, no sneak attacks while he's sleeping, you'll be a hurting kitty. Ah, cat's are supposed to be stronger than that rat. Is that what you think? Well, I'm getting there! I've trained hard and long to surpass the stupid rat, but he still seems stronger than me. That pisses me off as well. I want revenge. I need revenge on the damn rat. And until I find out how he got to be that strong, I'm going to stick with the insults for awhile. Although, that does upset her. She doesn't like it when we fight. I can just see it in her eyes. What can I do?

"Hey orangey wake up!" That damn Yankee. She's so freaking annoying. Always bugging me about my orange hair. It's natural! Can't you see that? She smacked me on the back of my head.

"Ow! What the hell was that for?"

"You were staring off in to space." Why the hell does she care if I stare in to space or not? I can do what ever I freaking want to do! "You're doing it again."

"Ugh, shut up! You're so full of it." I got up from my desk and ran to the door. I felt everyone's eyes staring at the back of my head. I turned around to look at them and they all just look away. Whatever. I walked out of the room and left school. I hate that place. It's crawling with traps everywhere! One minute I could be walking down the hall the next, some girl would bump in to me, and I'd be a cat. Wouldn't that be just a peachy thing to happen on my peachy day at school. Yes I used the word peachy, you can shut up now. I said shut the hell up! Ugh, there goes my temper again. What am I going to do about that?

"Kyo-kun?" I heard her voice when I was about to turn around the corner. Instead I stopped and let her catch up to me. "Kyo, did I do something wrong?"

"No."

"Good. Uo-chan wasn't trying to be mean. People were looking at you funny, that's all." she smiles at me happily. How can she be so damn happy? The only time I've ever seen her cry was when something broke, or when she saw me... in my bad form.

"Okay." I don't want to say anything I'd regret later.

"Are you going to go back to class?" I turned around and faced her. Her eyes got real wide when my face came to inches in front of hers.

"I'm going home. I'll be okay. Just stop your damn worrying okay?" She nodded her head and smiled slightly.

"Okay. I'll try!" Her face became so intense that her whole body seemed to be focused on one thing.

"Act normal, be yourself. Quit worrying about me. I need air, and time to think. You know where to find me." She nodded again and smiles.

"Mmhm! On the roof right? I'll see you then tonight Kyo-kun!" I nodded and she turned around to go back to her classroom, entirely focusing on worrying about me. I sighed and shrugged my shoulders.

As I sat on the roof of Shigure's house, I quietly analyzed every choice I had to make in order to control my temper. I could always ask Sensei, if he wanted to help. But he's so old, he probably doesn't want to deal with my shit. Hell, I don't even want to deal with my shit. What is wrong with me! I slammed my fists on to the roof. I could feel it shake under me. I heard Shigure walk out of the house.

"Hey, could you _please _not break my house Kyo?"

"Whatever."

"Thanks." Shigure walked back in to the house. Why does he think I'm always out to break his house? It's not like I do it on purpose. Well, not all the time.

I heard a sound over at the ladder. I looked over in that direction and I see her happy smiling face.

"Hey."

"Hi Kyo-kun. Am I interrupting something?" She walked over to where I sit and sits next to me. I looked at her and tried to smile.

"No. I'm just thinking. Is it dinner already?"

"Um no, I just wanted to see how you were doing. You seemed a little tense today."

"Did I? Well, I'm not. So you can stop worrying." I stared out at the sunset.

"I'm sorry Kyo." She lowers her head and wraps her arms around her knees.

"Now why the hell are you sorry? You didn't do a goddamn thing." I can feel her tense up next to me.

"W-well, I-I thought that since you seem like you don't want to tell me what's on your mind... That it's my fault that you don't trust me."

"What! Why the he- Why would you think that?"

"Because it's what it feels like Kyo! I thought that since I've been here for over two years, you should be able to trust me now. I-I kept your secret! I stayed even when I saw you in your true-"

"Tohru! Shut up for one second? I trust you, I do. But it's just hard to tell someone how I feel. Or what I'm thinking." Should I tell her? Would she laugh?

"Do you still envy him?"

"What?" It's as if she read my mind.

"Do you still envy Yuki-kun?"

"Yes. I do." She looked up from her position and smiles at me. "What?"

"I thought so."

"God! How can he keep his composure? How does he not get mad easily? Why is it so goddamn hard for me to control my temper?!?" I slammed my fists on to the roof again, only to hear a soft groan coming from underneath me.

"Kyo, why don't you just ask him yourself?"

"Because! It just doesn't work that way. He'll find away to let all the other Sohma's know about it. And I'll never hear the end of it. Wouldn't that be great, a RAT teaching a CAT how to be strong." I snorted and looked back out at the now darkened sky.

"It won't be all that bad. I know you can do it." Tohru stares at me with her bright eyes. I can tell she means it, but it's not going to change anything between me and Yuki.

"You should go downstairs. Yuki and Shigure are probably wondering where the dinner is." She nodded and went down the ladder, leaving me alone, again. Alone, to think about what I want to do. Should I ask him? If I do, then he'll never let it down. But I don't want to flip out on her. She's too delicate, like a flower. Even though she saw me in my true form, and dealt with all that. I clenched my teeth and slammed my fists down one more time on the roof and whoops! I made two holes in the roof. Damn! Why did I have to do that?

"KYO!" Shigure yelled from underneath me. I got up from my comfort zone and swiftly climbed down the ladder. I grabbed the tools to fix the roof, and went to where the holes were to fix it up. Shigure just shook his head at me while I was fixing the roof.

"What more do you want from me? Damn it! I'm fixing your roof!" My anger is coming back to me with great force.

"Continue fixing. I'm not going to get in your way. But little Tohru just wanted me to tell you that dinner is ready. Come down as soon as you finish fixing up my house... that you're trying to break." Shigure muttered the last part to himself, but I still heard that.

"Fine." As soon as I finished with the holes, I went downstairs to eat some dinner. Tohru made two separate dinners. One for Shigure, Yuki, and herself, and the other for me. How nice.

"Um, thanks." I said through my teeth as I tried to stuff the food in my mouth. Yuki shot a glare at me as to say that I should say more. "Uh, you didn't have to make two meals Tohru."

"Ah! You don't like it do you? I made sure there weren't any leeks in there!"

"No! I like it. It's just that-" I sighed, it's no use. "Never mind. Thanks for the food."

Tohru looked at me confusingly. I wonder what she's thinking, but then again I don't. It's probably all about Yuki, which makes me sick. I clenched my fist at the thought, and ended up accidentally breaking my chopsticks. Tohru jumped up at the sight.

"Oh Kyo! Are you alright?" She checks my hand to make sure I'm not bleeding.

"I'm fine. Go back to your eating. It's just splinters." I saw her face fall, and that's the last thing I saw that night. I ran out of the house in to the deep woods to collect my thoughts. Somehow, I ended up at that lake where Tohru found me in my true form. The memory made me shiver. I sat on the rock and looked out across the lake, watching the moon reflect on the waters. I just want to know why him. Why does she like _him_ so much? What is wrong with me that she gets so jumpy every time I do something? How come I can't say what I really feel about her to her face? This is so confusing.

I found a big pebble and threw it across the top of the waters. It skimmed the tips of the waves about a dozen times before it rested in to the water.


	2. Confession

_A/N: This is the last chapter of his thoughts. I know there's only two, but it's just supposed to be Kyo's thoughts and feelings on opening up to Yuki. Please review to this story, it will mean a lot to me!! Thanks for reading!!_

**Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket, or Kyo!! (cries)**

Confession

I watched the rocks skip across the waters. Then, I walked over to the lake and looked down at my reflection. I could see the the anger in my eyes. It's no wonder she's afraid of me. I terrify her. That's the only difference between me and Yuki. I threw the last rock down at the water and walked away from the waters.

"Kyo." Speaking of the devil. "Kyo, Tohru said you wanted to say something to me." Yuki said in his calm voice. I turned around and faced the rat.

"Is that so?"

"Yes." He paused. "What is it? What do you want?" I can tell he was slightly annoyed at me. I clenched my fists together. I don't know if I should tell him or not. And now, thanks to Tohru, I have to ask him something so it doesn't seem like a ploy to get him to fight me. Frankly, I'm too goddamn tired to fight.

"This is hard to say..." I start off. I can see Yuki's face quickly go in to confusion. Good, he doesn't know what I'm going to say. "Yuki, I uh- God this is so damn hard to spit out!" I can feel my body start to shook in my anger.

"Take your time." He still distanced himself from me. I'm guessing he didn't want to fight either.

"GOD! How can you stay so damn calm? Huh? Where do you get that from? Why does everyone like you? How come I'm not stronger than you when all I ever did was train. You never trained half as much as I did. I should be better, I SHOULD BE STRONGER!" Yuki's demeanor didn't change. "Are you going to answer me you damn rat?!?!"

"I'm thinking..." Yuki said after a few seconds of silence. "You think that everyone likes me?" Didn't he just hear what I said?

"Did you listen to a damn word I just said?"

"I did. Don't need to get so hasty cat." I my fists clenched even tighter. "Not everyone likes me. I'm not always calm Kyo. I don't know what your talking about."

"You must be blind Yuki. Everyone loves you. They want to be around you. They want to be you. Why else do you have so many friends hm? Why do you think I hate you? Even at the Sohma's, all I hear is your name. Yuki-san this, Yuki-san that. No one pays attention to me. No one likes me. I can never keep my temper, I always end up hurting everyone around me. God I even scare the hell out of the ones I -" I stop, Yuki may know that I like Tohru, but I'd never want to admit it. Especially to him. He stared at me, his eyes full of confusion. Then he smiled. That damn rat smiled at me, like this whole thing is funny as hell. "What the hell is that smile for?"

"You wish you could be me, don't you?" The exact words from my head. How- How does he do that? I shook my head and loosen my fists.

"Yes." I dropped down to my knees and place my fists against the sides of my face. I never wanted to admit that to him. He chuckles a little sending my body in complete anger mode. "You think it's funny rat? That a cat like myself wants to be a rat like you?"

"No." His face went back to the calm serene composure he always held. "I find it odd. I little ironic."

"Ironic?"

"You see, I never wanted to tell you this, but I myself wish I was a bit more like you. You don't see it Kyo, people do like you." That shocked me. He wished he could be like me? The cat? I was speechless, which is different because I'm never at a lost for words. I can see how embarrassed he was. Almost just as embarrassed as I was when I admitted to him that I wished I was like him.

"Are you serious?"

"In case you haven't noticed Kyo, I'm not the type of person that likes to be surrounded by people. You have everyone around you and you handle it so well. Even if you are just trying to push them away. Like that one time you were at school and the cats all showed up. You were interacting with the others so well. I just wish I could do that." He said in a small voice, that if I didn't have my cat sense I probably wouldn't have even heard. "And- you never had to deal with so much problems back at the Sohma house."

"I had plenty of problems Yuki, believe me." He nods, as to acknowledge he made a mistake. "But, I can't believe you actually think I'm social!" I shook my head in disbelief. Is he really serious? I mean the only person I know that likes me is Kagura, and she can be a real pain in the ass. Yuki chuckles a little more. This is probably the first time we acutally got along. I was smiling. I feel like a kid again. Making a new friend.

"Oh and just to let you know. She likes you Kyo. She really likes you." My heart stopped for a second and then I stared at him closely. "Not kidding."

Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't but right now, I don't care. The fact that Yuki knows why I act the way I act... and to know that he envies me as well is all that matters. Maybe Tohru was right... we're closer than we thought.

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**The end.**


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